“The Greatest Gift”

Hank2013photo

To anyone who knows me, and by now anyone who has been reading my blog regularly, hearing me say that my son Hank is the greatest gift that I have ever been given comes as no surprise.  But when the time comes for his birthday the realization of how vitally important his influence has been on the woman that I have become rises to a very high and vibrant pitch.  I now truly believe what my sister Terry has said for many years…Hank saved my life. 

Before Hank was born I had an understanding of discipline.  I had found the depths I could reach to hone my skills as an actress during my training at Carnegie-Mellon and in subsequent acting work.  For some reason theater took me, a pretty uncommitted person, to a place of commitment that I never thought possible for myself.  It taught me a great deal about what I’m made of.  But I was still a free agent and could live in a risky way without too much thought of consequences.

Then along came Hank.

Henry Vincent Klueber was born on May 16th, 1990.  Immediately after he arrived he was placed on my chest, our eyes connected, and I was a goner.  On that day a whole new Maureen showed up and a whole new woman started a beautiful, challenging and fantastically love filled journey.

Hank gave me the motivation and inspiration to step up to the plate of life in a way that I had never been trained to do.  Like all parents I was given no instruction manual other than my strong instinct to stay very present and listen very hard.  I was scared out of my wits so much of the time. I wanted to give my son everything I could so that he could be vibrant, happy and fulfilled.  It seemed as though everyday there was a new page full of complicated stories.

But then I would look at Hank.  I would kiss him.  I would hug him.  I would sing to him.  I would feel his warm little love.  It was Hank himself that carried me through.  God of course is the highest source, but Hank’s God-force is strong.  I feel a wisdom and an agelessness from him that humbles and encourages me.  And I feel such a huge responsibility to give him all that he deserves and, quite frankly, he keeps me out of trouble.  I was an untamed  thing BH (before Hank) and he reined me in. I cannot tell you how grateful I am.

I now have a kind of joy and fun in my life that is pure, true and everlasting.  My need to be there for Hank has led me to a God that is all love and hope and strength.  I have learned to be a better giver in all parts of my life, however imperfectly I manage that.  Were it not for Hank I believe that I would have continued on an overly self involved run, eventually ending in total burn-out.

So on Hank’s birthday I reflect with gratitude.  I think back on this journey filled with joy and fear, love and accomplishment.   I often say to Hank, “God must really love me to have given me you.  What a lucky woman am I!”  Thank you Hank for saving me.  It’s wonderful to be alive!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Terry Quigley May 19, 2013 at 2:10 pm

This brings so many memories. Thank you for sharing, dear sister.

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Maureen Quigley May 19, 2013 at 7:10 pm

You have been such an important and integral part of this journey Mar. Thank you for all you have been and continue to be for us.

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Sarah LoBisco May 23, 2013 at 10:40 pm

Hank is a gift to us all, as you are!

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Maureen Quigley May 23, 2013 at 10:47 pm

xoxoxoxoxo!!!!

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