“In Spite of it All”

Most of us have heard the term “survivor’s guilt” and boy do I feel that right now.  Right now I feel as though I don’t have the right to be feeling anything at all that isn’t about the terrible shooting that happened in Connecticut last Friday.

How dare I be worried about what Hank wants for Christmas when there are children who will never see another Christmas and parents whose hearts are broken in a million pieces?  How can I even be thinking about what I will bring to the clogging Christmas party tonight (yes, I’m a clogger AND a blogger!…still finding humor…good) in the aftermath of such a terrible tragedy?  And how can I be feeling such a personal grief when I’ve never even met any of these people?  Why does this feel so close?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I do know that I feel better when I pray for the parents of those sweet little kids.  They are bearing something that I have only ever feared…the loss of a child.  I feel better when I pray for all of those whose lives have been touched so directly by this horrific event.  I imagine light around them all and around what used to be a safe and sleepy town called Newtown.  And somehow I think that by keeping myself as centered as I can spiritually that that may have some kind of butterfly effect on the whole.  For I am a pacifist, and I truly believe that love can conquer all.

I know that there are those who don’t believe that, and I know that Martin Luther King and many others, including Jesus Christ, were murdered even though they believed that, but I refuse to give up.

This is the time of year when we celebrate the birth of a man who was and is, for me, the greatest pacifist of all time.  Maybe in focusing on that right now I will find the peace that he came hear to remind us of.  He was the Prince of Peace, and I will keep believing that peace, in the end, is more powerful than violence.  I’m just going to do that because it makes no sense to me to do anything else.

So Merry Christmas everyone, in spite of it all.  And if Christmas isn’t your thing, that’s okay.   I wish you peace and love and joy no matter what you celebrate or don’t celebrate because I can, and because I love you all and you can’t stop me.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Larry December 18, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Thanks, Mo
You are truely inspired by God.


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